Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I'm Not Alone

Some days I sit in front of this screen in sheer panic. It's not that I don't have anything to say. My husband and I jokingly refer to one another as the heckler and the diplomat. You guess who is who. So often I think there has to be something meaty in my posts. I am reminded of my friend Carol who, upon becoming a grandmother, sat on the couch and said to herself, "I gotta get me some wisdom fast."

Often when I tell my sister about my wretched stories of motherhood she is gleeful. The worse my 'horrible mommy moment' the happier she seems. And while I want to get pissed at her response I know it comes out of relief that she is not alone on the journey. If I can have these wretched moments of humanity daily and live to tell about it then maybe she can too.

I started this blog in part because I wanted to be able to share the reality of my humanity with others. I am learning to befriend my humanity instead of trying to hide it. We (I) need to be reminded often that we truly are companions on the journey. The thirst to have that affirmed is huge.

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